An Unsolicited Reality Check – From The Plumber

Last week my daughter proudly flushed the toilet paper holder down the toilet, which she saw as a great experiment. After a full week of wishfully thinking that the toilet would just start working again, we finally called the plumber.  He is nice enough and after 15minutes we have water that responds to gravity again. I feel relieved that the bill is not twice the amount. Ok, “bye bye and thank you very much”.

Not so fast.

Our homes are meant to be a safe place where we can protect our loved ones from  violence, war, god, racism, bad wine, etc.

But then the plumber walks in and bursts my bubble while I am still in my pajamas. This stranger reminds me that our world is full of people who assume everyone is like them, one of the majority – part of the club. Of course someone as respectable as myself, with a nice yard and a decent car in the drive, has to be part of their club. Certainly not an immoral non-believer. They are so sure, in fact, that they are comfortable making small talk about god and race in a stranger’s kitchen!  

Out of nowhere this plumber decides to talk about a hill of crosses nearby that seems to upset some people. He, however, is pleased to have them as a reminder of the “sacrifice and loss that makes god so sad”… I give an awkward grin and move toward the door. (BTW, I  have no idea what the crosses stand for, but my guess is its a pro-life statement).

But thats not all. Oh No. He decides to explain how the “cross hill” is in a nicer neighborhood than mine. He realizes that this may be rude, so he backtracks saying “well Oakland is getting better all the time. Its becoming a lot more White.” My mind was spinning, thinking of my two eldest children, who happen to be Black. He was insulting my babies and had no idea. I somehow doubt he would have assumed I was in his club if I wasn’t White like him.

Now, I know my husband would have handled this better, with some very dry, witty response in the style of Eddy Izzard. But I just felt like my personal space had been invaded by a racist religious freak and I just wanted him out. Oh, and of course the irony of a racist Christian do-gooder is only lost on him.

It is often in the most mundane times of life when I am rudely reminded that the comfortable bubble I have fashioned for myself is fragile. I am reminded of why deconversion was hard, partly because most people assumed I was a believer. Anything else would have been aberrant and socially unacceptable.  Of course it is those times when I’m caught with my guard down that I wish I had taken a firmer stand.  So, after this man comes into MY kitchen sullying MY home with HIS beliefs, I am left feeling both wronged and GUILTY because I didn’t make him aware of how misguided he was.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Brandon on February 1, 2010 at 8:20 pm

    Ugh… I know how you feel. I am often caught off guard by unexpected intolerance, and I never know what to say. I’m not witty on my feet when confronted with that stuff. Only later do I think of what I should have said, and it drives me crazy that I didn’t have the presence of mind or the courage to say it at the time…


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